Empathy and sympathy are very different - we often say “I know

Empathy and sympathy are very different, we often say “I know what you mean” or “I understand” to demonstrate we have experienced the same feelings or situation.

In order to demonstrate empathy, we need to show we understand what the person is feeling. This reduces the need for others to repeat themselves, until they feel understood.

Empathic listening is about hearing the unspoken messages:

• Observations

• Feelings

• Needs

• Requests

Because empathy is free from judgment or bias, it creates trust, encourages honest and open communication. We do evaluate what we hear to help us make decisions; however, we should avoid allowing any personal views or beliefs to create a communication barrier.

Listed below are barriers that prevent us really hearing others message and meaning

• Ignoring - physically present but mentally absent – often occurs when out mind wanders

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HCA Communication Resource October 2010

• Pretending - verbal nods (yes; I see; uh-uh) but mentally absent – thinking what to say next

• Selective listening - deleting or ignoring information, according to what we view as important

• Word Attentive - paying attention to words, but ignoring the emotions and feelings

• Autobiographical listening - judgments based on our experiences or beliefs

• Evaluating – deciding if we agree or disagree with the views, opinions or beliefs expressed

• Probing - questions based on our personal beliefs, values or opinions

• Advising - giving counsel based on our own experience

• Interpreting - trying to figure out motives, based on our motives

Hearing the unspoken messages and acknowledging how someone feels is the hallmark of a good communicator. The ‘Empathy Formula’ below acknowledges others feelings and demonstrates you understand the situation and how it makes them feel.

• You feel…………………………state the level and type of emotion

• Because.....................................summarize the content and meaning

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HCA Communication Resource October 2010

For example: you sound really angry, because you have not been kept informed about the recent changes, let’s see what we can do to minimise the stress this must be causing you.

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HCA Communication Resource October 2010